The Intimacy Trap, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the Brain

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating problem and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to get love, and guys utilize love to obtain sex." This is a fantastic summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where songs translate great sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further since for these singles, having sex carries tremendous significance and consequences.

Songs fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 methods:

A.they think sex is a necessary test of compatibility, (if the sex is good then the relationship will be excellent too).

B.more frequently, all awareness heads out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed songs consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they have sex.
Rather than looking at whether this other individual might be a match on levels other than physical tourist attraction-- such as long-term requirements, requirements, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to communicate with truth when all those hormonal agents are running wild. Our body responds to someone we are attracted to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts sexual desire), that makes the read this post here opportunity to make love with someone we are drawn in to incredibly tough to resist. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), which makes us feel extremely close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical responses are strong and uncontrolled , try these out causing powerful feelings of tourist attraction, enjoyment, closeness, well-being, and love .

But when issues arise, those who fall into the Sex Trap often justify by believing, "Well, we've got issues, however the sex is terrific!" They most likely would not confess it, however they focus on physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their main searching tools are sexual attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay males, states that a number of his clients have actually fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay males particularly in cosmopolitan locations, sex is readily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North says. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be great?".

However, North includes, "I think this is a ' man' thing instead of a 'gay' thing.".
I do desire to point out that chemistry is essential. Chemistry is a offered that we can't manage in a view it now relationship; it is either there or not there, and it should be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry happen, though sometimes it can grow over time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and truth hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger relationship failure.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you should balance your heart (and hormones) with your head. This implies combining chemistry with sound judgment. While good sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you require to make your partner choices by paying full focus on your vision, requirements, objectives, and worths -- while feeling all those amazing triggers!

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