The Sex Deception, Balancing Hormonal Agents and the Mind

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader composed in with a dating problem and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to get love, and guys use love to get sex." This is a fantastic summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is similar to the Love Trap, where songs interpret excellent sex as love. But those who fall under the Sex Trap go even farther since for these songs, having sex brings immense meaning and consequences.

Singles fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 ways:

A.they think sex is a required test of compatibility, (if the sex is excellent then the relationship will ready too).

B.more commonly, all consciousness goes out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed songs consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they make love.
Rather than looking at whether this other person may be a match on levels other than physical destination-- such as long-term requirements, requirements, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to communicate with truth when all those hormones are running wild. Our body responds to somebody we are brought in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone (increases sexual desire), that makes the chance to have sex with someone we are brought in to incredibly tough to resist. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), makings us feel extremely close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical reactions are uncontrolled and strong , causing effective feelings of tourist attraction, excitement, nearness, wellness, and love .

But when issues develop, those who fall under the Sex Trap often justify by believing, "Well, we've got problems, but the sex is this excellent!" They more than likely would not confess it, however they focus on physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their main searching tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly published here with gay guys, says that numerous of his clients have fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay men specifically in urban areas, sex is easily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North says. "In addition, the culture, with its focus on physical look, motivates sex. Lots of gay men desire to learn from the beginning if a prospective partner is going to be sexually compatible. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to ready?".

Nonetheless, North includes, "I presume this is a 'guy' thing instead of a 'gay' thing.".
I do want to point out that chemistry is essential. Yet, chemistry is a offered that we cannot manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it needs to be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry take place, though often it can grow in time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication uses off and reality hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you should balance your heart (and hormones) with your head. This means integrating chemistry with common sense. While excellent sex is important for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner choices by paying full focus on your vision, goals, requirements, and worths -- while feeling all those exciting sparks!

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